<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>With A Love Too Deep For Words by thejollymilano</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22470505">With A Love Too Deep For Words</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejollymilano/pseuds/thejollymilano'>thejollymilano</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bellarke, Bellarke January Joy 2020, F/M, Minor Mackson, Minor Memori, Tooth Rotting Fluff, bellamy x clarke, bjj2020, minor marper, the head and the heart, with a little bit of angst because it's me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:34:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22470505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejollymilano/pseuds/thejollymilano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[Modern AU] Bellamy and Clarke are roommates. After a fight, Clarke leaves in a huff to go on her date, only to realize she’s home alone when she returns. Missing him and finally recognizing her feelings for him, she puts on one of his shirts that got mixed in with her laundry and wait for him to get home.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With A Love Too Deep For Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is for Day 29 of Bellarke January Joy 2020 on tumblr, held by @bellarkejanuaryjoy<br/>It was originally longer and much more deeper, but I was writing it on tumblr mobile (never again), and it didn't save properly so I had to re-write it all in only like 2 hours to get it done. Sorry if it seems a little rushed, but I hope you enjoy some tooth rotting bellarke fluff, nevertheless! </p>
<p>Also: Rose of Sharon by Mumford &amp; Sons was what inspired this fic!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was nearly 10:00PM, and Clarke Griffin found herself wrapped up in one of their blankets that Harper gifted to them - <em> technically to Clarke, but the two practically came in a package </em> - as a house warming gift when they moved in together. She was sprawled out on the couch, her legs cozy under the blankets as she held her sketchbook open on her lap, waiting for Bellamy to come home. When she heard the lock on the door jingle, she moved her eyes from her artwork in time to see Bellamy walk through the door, looking exhausted.</p>
<p>“How was your day?” She asked, eyeing his posture. His shoulders were slumped slightly and he dragged his feet lightly as he walked; it seemed he had a rather long day, yet he came bearing gifts in the form of pizza from their favorite pizza place. “That bad?”</p>
<p>“Nah, it was just a long day,” Bellamy shook his head, slumping beside Clarke on the couch. “I’m happy to be home.”</p>
<p>Clarke smiled and opened the box, seeing he got her personal favorite deluxe pizza, and her smile grew, “What do you say we get fat eating pizza and watch some TV?”</p>
<p>“Are you asking me to “Netlfix and Chill?’” He quirked an eyebrow at her teasingly, and Clarke laughed at his dumb attempt to flirt.</p>
<p>“Did Octavia give you that one?” She chuckled, and he tilted his head in a silent agreement that it was pretty dumb (‘<em> but kind of cute,’ she mentally added </em>), a smirk tugging on the corners of his lips. “Let’s do it.”</p>
<p>“I’ll grab the beer.”</p>
<p>“You’re my favorite.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>They spent the next two hours sitting on the couch, both sitting next to each other under the large blanket Clarke was using earlier, the box of pizza eventually emptied and tossed aside to the table to be dealt with later as they watched one of their favorite shows. It was a simple, mundane, everyday routine that they did, but it never failed to make Clarke’s heart swell. </p>
<p>Bellamy and Clarke had been living together for nearly two years now, both meeting each other through mutual friends Clarke made when she first entered art school. Harper introduced her to her group, and after a while, she and Bellamy’s little sister Octavia had gotten close. When Octavia heard that Clarke was struggling to find a place of her own to <em> finally </em>leave her mom’s place, she had to elbow Bellamy to give him the idea to ask her to move in with him, since he was looking for a roommate ever since Octavia moved in with her boyfriend Lincoln.</p>
<p>At first Bellamy and Clarke had thought O was insane for coming up with the idea - their relationship wasn’t exactly easy going at the start; Bellamy antagonized Clarke for her wealthy upbringing and constantly brought up condescending remarks (<em> “Awe, sorry Princess, are the drinks here not up to standard?” </em>) and she would respond with another equally coy remark and middle finger. Now, however, they both thanked their lucky stars and blessed Octavia a genius; a lot had changed since they first met two years ago. They couldn’t imagine their lives without the other anymore, they needed each other.</p>
<p>Later that night, the empty box of pizza was tossed aside, and Bellamy and Clarke laid underneath the blanket Harper gave them, not quite cuddling but still leaving no room for air as their hips touched. She tried to tell herself that it was absolutely platonic, that it was a totally normal reaction because it was an undeniable fact that her roommate was attractive; yet every time his knee hit hers, or he leaned over to whisper small commentary or bad puns in her ear while they watched TV, her heart pounded significantly louder in her chest. She blamed it on the beer and her hormones.</p>
<p>She knew she <em> cared </em> about Bellamy. Though she had a nagging feeling it was more than that, she was convinced that nothing would happen between them. She also knew that Bellamy wasn’t famous for committed relationships. It wasn’t that Bellamy didn’t care about her - he <em> cared, </em> that much she knew, but whether it was to the same depth as she did for him was another story. Sure, they lived together and spent most of their time together, but what about the days where she had to work late, or that she went out with the girls? It wasn’t unlikely that Bellamy didn’t bring company home, that there wasn’t <em> someone else. </em>Right?</p>
<p>Clarke pushed the thought out of her head and tried to focus on what was playing on the screen instead of the way Bellamy’s eyes lit up when he laughed at whatever was going on in the show, but it proved to be nearly impossible. <em> She was screwed. </em>Eventually, however, she started to doze off as sleep caught up with her. The last thing she remembered was laying her head on Bellamy’s shoulder and revelling in how he relaxed at the gesture.</p>
<p>The next morning, Clarke woke up alone in her own bed, dazed and slightly confused. She was certain that she fell asleep on the couch. Realizing that Bellamy must have carried her back to her room, she felt her face heat and she buried her head under her pillow. </p>
<p>Yeah.</p>
<p>
  <em> She was definitely screwed.  </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Clarke was getting ready in the bathroom, music playing from her phone speaker as she leaned over the sink to apply her mascara when Bellamy walked in.</p>
<p>“Big plans tonight?” He eyed her outfit.</p>
<p>A few weeks after the couch incident, Clarke decided to finally agree to go on a date with that guy from one of her classes. He was nice and a talented artist, but there was something missing, though she decided to give him a chance. </p>
<p>She didn’t think her outfit was anything too over the top for a first date with a guy she barely knew, just a pair of ripped mom jeans that made her feel confident and a plain black v-neck. She touched her hair up in simple curls and was applying fairly light makeup; she thought she looked casual enough, but judging from the way Bellamy was looking at her, she began to have second thoughts. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m meeting up with someone from my class,” She said vaguely, turning her attention back to her reflection while she finished up.</p>
<p>“<em> Meeting up? </em>”</p>
<p>“He’s taking me out to dinner,” She shrugged. </p>
<p>“Oh,” Something about his tone irked her, and she quickly glanced his way through the mirror. “So it’s a date.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” She stated with a teasing tone, and started to pack up her makeup. “He’s nice.”</p>
<p>“Cool,” Bellamy grumbled and turned around to walk out. “Have fun.”</p>
<p>She followed him out, his sudden closed off behaviour worrying her.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” Clarke asked as the walked into the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Fine, Princess.”</p>
<p>“Because you can tell me if you’re not.” </p>
<p>“Seriously, I’m fine. Just a long day,” He rubbed his hand over his face tiredly. “Just leave it.”</p>
<p>“Bellamy-”</p>
<p>“<em> Leave it, </em>Clarke,” Bellamy cut her off, and now she was really concerned. She didn’t know why he was acting this way all of a sudden.</p>
<p>“Bell, did I do something? If I-”</p>
<p>“Not everything is about you, Princess,” He snapped, and she felt her heart drop as anger flushed her cheeks.</p>
<p>“What the hell is your problem?!” </p>
<p>He scoffed and turned his back to her again, busying himself with something on the counter to purposefully ignore her “Shouldn’t you be going now? You wouldn’t want to be late for your <em> date </em>.”</p>
<p>The insecurity in the last word he hissed didn’t go unnoticed by her. He sounded almost <em> jealous.  </em></p>
<p>“Whatever, you’re being a total ass right. I’m going, okay? You happy now?” He remained silent, his back still to her. She was about to turn the corner to go back to her room so she could grab her coat and leave, but she stopped and turned back to face him one more time but was still only greeted by his back. Angry tears filled her eyes and her voice cracked when she whispered, “Why are you being this way?”</p>
<p>His shoulders visibly tensed and then hunched at the sound of her broken whisper, but she retreated back into her room before she could look too much into it. She grabbed her coat and purse off her bed when the sound if the front door slamming startled her. Clarke knew that they were stronger than whatever was going on with Bellamy, that they could get through this because they’ve been through harder things together, but it still didn’t make her heart clench knowing he left. Even though she knew (<em> she hoped </em>)he would be coming back, she didn’t want to think of what it would mean, of what it would do to them if he didn’t. </p>
<p>A tear spilled down her cheek. </p>
<hr/>
<p>Bellamy wasn’t home when Clarke got back from her date. She looked at the time and it was only 8, and assuming Bellamy had gone out with the guys to let off some steam, she figured he wouldn’t be home until later. She had ended up cutting her date off way earlier than she thought. After the fight or whatever the hell <em> that </em>was, some mascara had run down her face and she took a cloth to wipe it all off. By that time, her date had come to pick her up and she went out the door makeup free and an uneasy feeling.</p>
<p>Still upset from the way she and Bellamy ended things earlier, she entered her room and went to change into more comfortable clothes. She pulled out a pair of night shorts from the pile of unfolded laundry that sat in a chair in the corner of her room - <em> she’s been meaning to get around to it, but it’s been a busy week that’s left her with next to no energy - </em> and reached for the large shirt on the top of the pile. When she pulled the shirt on over her head, she realized it wasn’t hers. <em> It was Bellamy’s, </em> because of <em> course </em> it was. It must’ve gotten mixed up with her laundry, but boy, was it the comfiest shirt now in her possession. It was his <em> Queen tour </em> ‘ <em> 75 </em> t-shirt that they had found while browsing through isles at a local thrift store. The shirt went down to her thighs, hiding her shorts, but she didn’t care. </p>
<p>She went into the kitchen to grab a bowl of ice cream and a beer, and curled herself up in the blanket as she turned on Netflix. While she indulged, she couldn’t help but keep their fight on a loop in her head, playing it over and over as she had while on her date, trying to figure out why he was suddenly acting like the douche she had thought he was when they first met. The idea of backtracking to who they were when they met scared her, <em> she couldn’t lose him, too. </em> He wasn’t there when her dad died since it happened a few years before they met, but he was there all the times she needed someone to talk to, all the times she needed a shoulder to cry on. He was there on the anniversaries and there when she went for dinner with her mom. He supported her when Finn cheated on her (she later found out that he had also went over to Finn’s place and had given him a black eye), and he helped her get back on her feet when Lexa left her. He stayed by her side and her back through it all, just as she had when he broke up with Gina, the first person he had an actual relationship with. She was there for him and Octavia like he was for her, on the anniversaries of their mom’s death. They supported one another and kept each other centered - <em> they needed each other.  </em></p>
<p>And that’s why when they fought and she left to go on her date, she couldn’t think of anything else except <em> him. </em> Yes, the guy who took her out <em> was </em>very nice, but he deserved better than a person who was already in love with someone else. And she was, she couldn’t deny it any longer. </p>
<p>She was in love with Bellamy Blake, and it was driving her crazy. </p>
<hr/>
<p>“You’ve gotta tell her, man,” Miller shook his head as he brought his bottle of beer back up to his lips.</p>
<p>“How?” Bellamy ran his hand through his hair.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, maybe try ‘<em> Clarke, I’m sorry I’m an idiot. I’m in love with you,’ </em>” Murphy quirked and Bellamy rolled his eyes. </p>
<p>“I really fucked this one up,” He groaned, his face in his hands,the sound of her broken voice still ringing in his ears. He was always the one to comfort her when she cried, he’d never been the cause; he felt like the biggest asshole. “I don’t know why I freaked out, I just <em> did. </em>It’s not like this was the first date she’s been on since we’ve met.”</p>
<p>“True, but you also weren’t completely head over heels for her back then,” Monty elbowed him. “A lot has changed since then.”</p>
<p>“Let’s start with what you’re going to do when you get home,” Jackson suggested, his elbows resting on the kitchen island they were all seated or standing around. “What are you going to say to her when you see her?”</p>
<p>“That I’m a fucking idiot-” Bellamy started.</p>
<p>“-<em> who’s in love with you, </em>” Murphy interrupted, but Bellamy ignored him.</p>
<p>“Bellamy, you’ve said and done worse things, but she’s been your best friend for this long anyways,” Monty tried to assure him. “You know what you did, even if you aren’t saying much about it to us. So stop being a pansy, and go home, apologize and tell her.” </p>
<p>“What he said,” Miller pointed to him in agreement.</p>
<p>Bellamy looked at his friends, letting their words sink in. </p>
<p>Clarke didn’t give up on him when he was at what he thought to be his lowest. She helped make him see reason, and supported him through everything. It was her opinion he cared about most, her smile that started off his day, her kindness and stubbornness that challenged him every day. She was the one who he was meant to be with, even if he didn’t think he deserved her. </p>
<p>Each of his friends here had all had to fight for their relationships, and they always made it work. Miller and Jackson were still fairly new, but they were resilient, Murphy and Emori were made for each other, and aside from Clarke, Monty and Harper were Bellamy’s biggest supporters and inspirations. </p>
<p>He knew he could make it work with Clarke. He was only scared that he would ruin it and lose her. But seeing his friends happy and encouraging him to find his happiness, he knew he had to try. After all, it was something he had always told Octavia and that his mom told him - <em> Screw fear.  </em></p>
<p>“I’ve gotta go. You can finish this,” He handed Murphy his beer, having only taken a few small sips of it given that he had no appetite for anything after the fight. </p>
<p>“Use a condom!” Murphy shouted behind him.</p>
<p>He heard his friends cheer as he closed the door and ran to his truck. </p>
<p>
  <em> He was going home.  </em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was just after 9PM when Bellamy burst through the front door of their apartment. He was about to go down the hallway to knock on Clarke’s door, hoping she was home, when a flicker of movement caught his eye. He looked over to the living room, and saw Clarke sitting on the couch, curled up under the blanket. Their eyes connected, and she stood up.</p>
<p>“Bellamy,” He took a few steps closer. “You’re home,” She sounded surprised. </p>
<p>“So are you,” He was half expecting her to still be out.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I ended it early,” Clarke shrugged. “He was nice, but there was no chemistry.”</p>
<p>He quickly took in her appearance, seeing her makeup-free, her hair up in a messy bun. Her PJ shorts were poking out from under a large shirt - <em> His </em>shirt, he realized, and he felt something stir within him, seeing her in his clothes. She never looked more beautiful.</p>
<p>“Clarke,” He stepped forward a little more. “I’m sorry. I was a jackass, and I had no right to be. I’m sorry for leaving like that. I never meant to hurt you, I just…”</p>
<p>She stepped forward this time and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Bell, whatever’s going on, you know you can trust me.” </p>
<p>“I know,” He soaked in her embrace for a moment, before he stepped back to look into her eyes. “And trust <em> me, </em>this is long overdue but it’s about time I said it.”</p>
<p>“What?” She tilted her head, curious.</p>
<p>His brown eyes met her beautiful blues, and he felt his heart melt further. He could easily get lost in her eyes forever. </p>
<p>“I love you, Clarke,” He whispered, his voice low and she froze. “I’m <em> in love </em>with you.”</p>
<p>“Bellamy…”</p>
<p>“I’ve been trying to ignore it, trying to move on because you deserve someone better, but damn it, <em> I love you. </em> You changed me, you make me <em> want </em> to be a better person. And I can’t imagine my life without you in it, because you’re too important to me.” His heart pounded significantly faster, threatening to burst out of his chest, “I don’t expect you to say anything or feel the same, but I just wanted - I <em> needed </em>to say something.”</p>
<p>She stepped forward again so they were inches apart, and cupped his face in her hands. Tears welled in her eyes and a smile was plastered on her lips, “Bellamy, I love you. Of course I love you,” She slightly laughed. “You’re it for me.”</p>
<p>A joyous laugh fell from his lips, before he leaned down and she met his lips halfway. She broke away from him after a long, heartfelt kiss to poke his chest playfully, “But if you be a jerk like that again, I’ll kick your ass.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t dream of it, Princess.”</p>
<p>As their lips met again and they stumbled their way down the hallway, Bellamy started counting his lucky stars for getting the chance to know her, the chance to fall in love with her and cherish her. With a love too deep for words, they needed each other, they complimented and challenged each other.</p>
<p>They tumbled into his bedroom and she let out a laugh that filled him with joy as they fell onto his bed. </p>
<p>“<em>Fuck, </em>I love you,” He kissed her neck.</p>
<p>“I know,” She cupped his face again and was drawn into her bright blue eyes again. “I love you, Bellamy. So much.”</p>
<p>
  <em> Yeah, he was beyond lucky. </em>
</p>
<p>Together, they let go of their fear and insecurities. Together, they were writing their own damn story.</p>
<p>
  <em> <strong>THE END.</strong> </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>"And I will surround you</em>
    <br/>
    <em>With a love too deep for words</em>
    <br/>
    <em>Hold you from the world and its curse</em>
    <br/>
    <em>So long as I have breath in my lungs</em>
    <br/>
    <em>Long as there's a song to be sung</em>
    <br/>
    <em>I will be yours and you will be mine</em>
    <br/>
    <em>Ever our lives entwined</em>
    <br/>
    <em>My rose of Sharon</em>
    <br/>
    <em>My rose of Sharon"</em>
  </p>
</blockquote>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Endings are hard ...<br/>Hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>